my parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly
Man’s best friend
I like how he picks him up and is all, “There you go!”
fucked his shit up
He just puts him over the counter all “Yeah that’s right Sparky you fuck his shit up”
WHY DO PEOPLE CALL IT FUCK, MARRY, KILL WHEN THEY COULD CALL IT BED, WED, BEHEAD
easy there henry
whos henry what thef uck?
*faint laughter from Britian*
*history teachers crying*
I want a movie about a little girl, aged like 11-12, going through the stuggles of prepubescent girl life, with her entire inner monologue is narrated by Samuel L. Jackson.
Shot of disgruntled adorable little girl.
SLJ: I knew that Susie was a backstabbin’ motherfucker, and if anyone was going to ruin my chances of being Miss Sugar Drop Queen, it was that asshole.
I didn’t know I needed this in my life until now.
the only reason i go to school is because i donn’t wanna be an unemployed college drop out. i wanna be an unemployed college graduate
thats the spirit
i think it’s a universal truth that everyone in our generation takes pluto’s losing its planetary status as a personal offense
pluto is smaller than russia. why did we ever even consider it a planet?
BECAUSE IT’S A PART OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM
OHANA MEANS FAMILY
OHANA MEANS NO ONE IS LEFT BEHIND
I think about this joke a lot.
- On the internet: Ugh I hate people so much
- Applying for a job: I love working with people and I'm very sociable
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